I have been struggling to write this one.
I know what I’d like to put on paper, or screen, or keyboard.
Generally, I’m aware of the direction I’d like this to go.
That being said, I have no real certainty of how I want to get there.
I guess it’ll start with a clear cut idea of where I’m trying to go.
Overall, and if you’ve read anything else on this site you know this, I am disgusted with the modern idea of toughness.
Growing up, emotionless tough guys were idolized.
I can still find myself wanting to be that guy. The rough and tumble, lead into battle.
But it makes me sad to think about.
Emotions are meant to be felt and healed.
I’ve had an emotional few months, lots of transition, lots of things not going my way.
It’s been more than challenging to keep my head on straight, to remind myself of the goal.
I’ve been slipping into bad habits, not being the guy I want to become.
A hefty part of my mind wants to be the guy who just takes it on the chin and keeps working.
My typical response to empathy shown my way being “it happens” or “such is life.”
Because that’s what Marcus Aurelius would say right?
That’s how Teddy Roosevelt would respond?
So why should I not respond in kind.
It’s a flawed thinking.
Those men were not calloused, they had perspective.
My perspective, as a 22 year old, is narrow.
It’s the right now, it’s the last couple years, it’s the next few months.
Which, is a fair thing to have when I’m this young.
When I’ve built my life around goals.
They put blinders on race horses so they can only focus on one thing, the race. I’ve put blinders on so I can similarly do so.
The next lift, goal, business, job, workout, run. I have blinders limiting myself to the next thing.
Which again, I don’t always disagree with.
One of my favorite phrases is “three foot world.”
Focusing on the next three feet is how to get through something hard.
A run, a workout, a breakup. It’s all about the next three feet.
But the world is much more than three feet around.
When I get caught up in the three foot world, I become emotionless, passionless and I lose perspective.
I’m really good, world class honestly, at taking things on in the moment.
One time my car transmission went out going 80mph on the freeway. Didn’t phase me in the moment.
Whatever it is, I am level headed in the moment.
The issues come when I have to think past the three feet.
That’s where I’m at these days, thinking past those three feet.
Living in a three foot world is like living in the arena, and I talked all about the problems with that in this reflection.
I need it sometimes, but not all the time. I don’t like who I am in the three foot world.
Building a company put me in that three foot world, and I know I sucked to be around. It’s something I think about often.
I’ve been ending these with a question, one to make you think.
I pondered on this one last Thursday.
What’s the hard thing I know I need to do, but I’ve been avoiding? Why not do it?
Hope you enjoyed my rambles.
Don’t forget to look past those three feet.